Are You Ready for Work and More Importantly is Work Ready for You?

Well actually that is the first of many more questions which soon follow that statement. Many people who have been off work for a long period of time will eventually come to the point of deciding to return or making the, very final, decision of not going back to work.

It is a decision that takes a lot of thought and sometimes an awful lot of deliberation and reflection. There are many support groups and documents to help those who have reached this point.

There is a great piece, below, by Maggie Lonsdale called Long Term Illness – Are you Ready to go Back to Work? It discusses what I think are the three main points

Are You Physically Ready To Return To Work?

The most important aspect of your decision to return to work after a long term illness is whether you are actually well enough to return. You will have had some medical treatment, or at least a doctor’s appointment, throughout your sickness leave, so the best way to assess your current health is to ask for another appointment. Tell your doctor that you want to go back to work and ask if they think you are well enough. Do you feel fit and well? If you are able to be relatively busy at home for a full day and have finished any necessary medical treatment that affects your ability to work, you are probably physically able to return to work.

Are You Emotionally Ready To Return To Work?

Even if you are thoroughly bored by day time television and are longing to get back to doing something more useful with your day, don’t forget that a long term illness can really take it out of you. Perhaps speak to your employer and see if you are able to go back to work part time, or do a couple of one-off days to see how you cope with it. Many people who have dealt with a long term illness can feel very emotional during their first couple of weeks back at work, even though they felt ready to return. This can be for a number of reasons – perhaps you are still coming to terms with your illness, perhaps you are too well to stay at home but not quite well enough to deal with the pressures of work, or perhaps your priorities have changed since becoming ill and you do not want to stay in the same job anymore.

Are You Financially Ready To Return To Work?

For many people who have experienced a long term illness, their plan to return to work corresponds with a need to earn money. Although you are entitled to statutory sick pay for a maximum of 28 weeks, towards the end of this time you can feel pressured into feeling better. If you do not feel well enough to go back to work, or your doctor has advised against it, you can still make some choices. Can you afford to live on your partner’s salary, or can you afford to go part time? Could you take more unpaid leave? Work out what you need to live on, which may mean foregoing some treats that your previous salary had enabled you to enjoy. When you know what money you need, you can think about whether or not you have to return to work if you do not want to. Your quality of life can improve exponentially to the amount of money you earn, as you will be able to spend more time with your family and not return to the stress that may have contributed to your long term illness.

For more information please visit http://www.areturntowork.co.uk/long-term-illness-are-you-ready-to-go-back-to-work.html

I am very lucky to have been thoroughly supported since the start of my illness but that is not the reality for everyone. It is important to get as much information about your choices before you make one. The local government agencies are there to help as well. In the UK the benefits office has a specific disabled section that includes a service called “Return to Work”

If you are disabled or covered under the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) find out, up front, what the means for you and how it may effect your return to work. There are many approaches from phased returns, medical redeployments to medical retirement. It is important that if you are on Long Term Sickness that you keep an open communication with your Company. It is very difficult for people to make decisions without up to date information. If, like me, you condition can change it is imperative to let them know. Ordinarily before you join the workforce once again, a plan will be put in place to help you make the transition back into the workplace. This can be as small as making sure your old desk is clean to as big as ensuring there is wheelchair space for you to be able to work and leave the building safely in an emergency. Please remember the plans are there to help you so put forward as many views and suggestions that you can.

Remember if you are unsure you can contact you local governing agency for advice. In the UK it is  www.direct.gov.uk

Returning is daunting but making the decision not to must be even more so. It is a massive life change and one that doesn’t have an end date. Many people return to early because of financial pressure, especially in the current climate, but it is important to remember that going back too soon could have you back at square one again.

So what does this mean for me?

Well those who know me know that I am a bit of a chatterbox and work was very much part of my social scene after having made some really good friends over the years. I will be honest and admit I miss them dreadfully. Life goes on without you and it is a frustrating prospect of not being part of that social circle. I have made it very clear from the outset that I fully intend to return to work. My brain is very eager and would be at its desk first thing tomorrow morning, my body is still in the process of digesting the fact it needs to get it’s backside in gear and pass the physical, so to speak. My wonderful advisor could see that I would have been back months ago, if I’d have had my way, but talking to her and my consultants I realised that I would need to wait a bit longer before getting back to talking with friends at the coffee machine, if any senior management are reading this – I would love to say that I didn't, but I did....though not often of course!!!!

The picture to go with this post is one of me and two colleagues, Little Sarah M and Sue, visiting our 4th musketeer, Kerry, in Claremont Ferrand, France when she was working there for the Company. It was one of the best weekends I have ever had and even though we made it back there one more time the subsequent trips were cancelled due to obvious reasons. This picture always makes me smile because we look really happy and in good health! Though I think they may have been hungover???

Personal Update

The time has gone very quickly since I last posted and but I have taken the opportunity to catch up with a few things in my “to do list”.  What with Birthdays, Wedding Anniversaries, Fathers day and the fact the sun has suddenly appeared it has also been a bit hectic on the social front.

I have quite a few medical appointments coming up in the next two weeks so hopefully I can move upwards and onwards. I have started a journal just for my eyes where I put all my inner most feelings, both good and bad, on to paper once a day. I thought it would be helpful. To be honest, the first week it had a different impact and I was a little down but all is good now and it stops me boring the “pants” off of Mark. Goodness the man is a saint, but I had noticed his eyes start to glaze over when I ask him endless questions of what if? And How can?......So, in my usual fashion I took control and now write my questions down only to answer them on the next page….some things never change!

I cannot attend events that I would dearly love to at the moment so I am going to end this post with a request to everyone…….

• To all those going to take “Take That”, with or without the free bar, please have a scream and arm wave for me...Thanks
• To all those preparing to go to a music festival, please raise a plastic beer glass for me and surf the mud if there is any ....Cheers

Until next time

Sarah

Being truthful to yourself and those around you

They keep me strong

Today’s blog is somewhat different to what I usually write. It is of a more personal nature and using a recent experience to explain the importance of being true to yourself.

Picture the scene; me and Boo at lunch with a good friend when she explains that I have not been honest with friends or colleagues about how I feel or how I am coping. So, there I am in the middle of a restaurant on a busy Saturday afternoon trying not to suddenly cry. She was, of course, right. I have been so busy trying to reassure everyone that everything was fine and that I was beating this thing that has changed my life, that I hadn’t been truthful and become a victim of my own publicity. Friends and family have been drawn into my version of events which were not necessarily the whole picture. They weren’t told of my tears after watching a husband and wife walk their dog in the rain, or the huge responsibility I felt when Boo was told that my condition is probably hereditary so will need constant tests. I just smiled and said “it’s ok, I can deal with it” The smile in place all of the time but behind the mask I have been crumbling.

So back to my friend; she explained to me that I wasn’t helping myself by not being honest, for instance my work colleagues think I am ok, obviously this is not correct but of my own doing….

This has also extended to my husband as well. We have become so used to answering “yes, things are coming along” that we had started to fool ourselves. I didn’t acknowledge the looks of embarrassment or shock when people first saw me at a recent family party. As far as I was concerned it was because my hair was short or because I had a walking stick, not because people had been told that I was fine.

We also discussed that I never ask for help. I couldn’t disagree with her on this subject either. Now this is the sticky one for me. Everyone who knows me is fully aware that I am a control freak and want to look after everything without outside help. I find it really difficult to relinquish control or responsibility. But I realised as we were talking that she was absolute right. Only the day before I had tried to go shopping in a local supermarket, Boo was pushing the trolley and putting the goods in. I am sure that she looked very cute but people didn’t realise that she was doing it because I couldn’t. I hadn’t realised that through not asking for help my children had taken roles that I would normal fill.

So why am I telling you this?

Sometimes we confuse reality with the perception we actually give. This is because, maybe, we struggle to accept what is compared to what was. It is very difficult to change habits of a lifetime, not through choice but because your body will not comply. Take driving for instance, Boy would I like to get behind the wheel of my Mini and just drive, now where in particular but just drive…….window down, CD blaring and hand out catching the wind. This may happen in time but for now I need to stop telling people that I shall soon be driving again and to ask for lifts and help ferrying the children places.

I would like to publicly thank Pip who has made me realise that through trying to please everyone by telling them that everything was fine I was, in fact, making the situation more difficult. I have made the decision to tell people that I actually fell unwell, I look better not because I have put weight on but because my face is getting rounder due to meds and that I do need help.

Now, you may view this blog as out of character and somewhat depressing. Please don’t! Through this process I feel liberated and quite positive. I suppose it’s all about accepting that I can’t be the old Sarah. I won't be a new Sarah, just a different one. I still have the same dreams, ideals and goals. I shall just have to use a different route to get them. Now I shall achieve them with the help of friends because I would have kept my side of the deal by being truthful.