Erm, Urgh, Gosh and ooohhhhhhhh
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| My daily mantra, something I believe in 100% |
Time has flown this year and already we are on the downward trudge to Easter. Where have the weeks gone? Nature is all of a mixture with blossoms, snow, rain, freezing temperatures, spring like days and droughts….. The nights are getting lighter and we all have a little spring in our step knowing that it is not that long before we are sitting in the evening haze watching the sun setting over the downs near our home.
Erm
It’s been sometime since I have posted on the blog and as I intimated the recent road on the HUVs highway has been somewhat rocky.
Things were going well and we all were lulled into the lovely comfortable sense of false security when BAM!!!! Lights were flashing and I was once again seeing men in white coats J
3 times in 4 days I was whisked off in the big white taxi. The dates could not have been more inconvenient. Valentine’s day, my Birthday and day of a celebration meal……we thought if I have to go backing we will try for Mother’s day, Father’s day and maybe Easter????? Why change what seems a habit J
This meant that I had to bite the bullet and spend some time in hospital having treatment. I even missed my birthday meal, something I will rectify as soon as possible. The good news is that the chemo was brought forward and I am due to have the second bout on Friday so everything is currently crossed that I don’t go down with a cold until then.
The other outstanding thing was the demonstration of tremendous support from those around me. Mark and I have been very clever in hiding the severity of the attacks and this time my family members were witnesses. This means that for the first time my support also comes from a real understanding of the emergency situations when they happen. I don’t know why we hid it for so long?????
Urgh!!!!!
Whilst in hospital I had to endure the wonder of “hospital food”. Let me tell you; if Oliver Twist had been on my ward he would definitely NOT have asked for more…..I realise that when feeding so many people it is extremely difficult but every time I am admitted it always effects appetite.
The silver lining is that I am once again back into my smaller sized jeans. I had great fun in telling my Slimming World group that the extreme weight loss was because I am much more committed than them and they were not dedicated to losing weight if they were not willing to endure hospitals and chemotherapy….it is a good way to allow them to get over any embarrassment they may feel when seeing me. I always look different after multiple attacks and hospitalisation….and let’s be honest… I like to laugh at it myself.
Gosh and oooohhhh
After seeing some recent photos I was shocked to see how much I had aged over the past two years and accepted at long last that illness can ravage you, but not in a good way ;oP
I took the decision that regardless of the success of the latest round of treatment I deserved some “me” time. I booked the hair appointment and told everyone that even is I was in an ambulance they would have to stop on the way!!!! Halfway to being blonde again. I wasn’t sure until Jacob said that I looked like I did before I fell ill. God, I love that boy!!! The next will be monthly facials and beauty treatments…I am tired of looking ill. New hair colour must surely mean a new wardrobe???? No??? Shoes are a definite!!!!!!!
What next?
After the next round of treatment I need to pin myself down, sit, wait and reflect to see if it has worked. We are very aware that it is shot in the dark and take each day at a time. Stubbornly, I am determined not to allow the condition to interfere with my daily life. It already has taken so much that I refuse to allow it to erode anything else.
I want to help others though not sure how yet. I have been so lucky with the support I have received that I want to pass it on. If you have any suggestions then just holler!!!!! I want to share my good fortune.
To leave you on a humorous note…..remember Carpe Diem?????? Well, I have this scribed inside my wrist as a reminder that you must seize everyday no matter what…….well, I was in the “Resus” area of the ER and having all manner of tubes and prongs put into my body when one of the nurses looked at my wrist and asked if the wording was the name of my children….yep!! She though I had children called Carpe and Diem???????? Needless to say my readings went sky high, not through reacting to my condition but the effort it was taking not to laugh….really….you can’t make this stuff up.
I realise this post has been mostly about the events that have happened recently and promise the next one will not only have more helpful links for those with conditions but will also have an very small extract of the book I have started to write about my experiences during this journey.
Until then
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