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| Boo and Caitlin resting their dancing feet |
It has been almost 2 months since my last post on the blog. You could accuse me of being tardy but let me explain…..
You know how life allows you to become comfortable and secure then it packs such an unexpected punch that you are literally on the floor wondering which direction the “Muhammad Ali” upper cut has come from. Well, that was me. We were in the glow of a brilliant meeting with the Prof in which he said we may have found a treatment that may reduce my visits to A&E. I say glow but actually mean bright dazzling light that cause you to put your hand to your brow to shield yourself. That was on the Tuesday, by the Saturday I had made all sorts of plans to change my situation. My life, both inside and outside of work, was brilliant and I was riding high on confidence and the thought of what was to come…..
On the fateful Saturday the sun was shining and Summer looked like she was going to show her hand at last. I was travelling on my little black scooter when it became grounded. I won’t go into details on my blog but due to the incident I hurt my back. There I was on the floor, my head in a drain, thinking “are you having a laugh?” Confident that I had only pulled a muscle I called Mark to come and pick me up out of the drain and take me home. How wrong can a girl be???
That night, after hobbling around home all day, I got stuck. And boy, do I mean stuck. It took gas and air and morphine just to get me off of my mattress. Muscle pull my bum!!! I had broken my back in two places. I am a tough old girl but never again will I diss back pain. As a result I am now is a full body brace that I have had to wear for the last 8 weeks in 30 degree heat….to cut a long story short it seems that the stupidly high dosages of steroids I have been taking over the past 3 years has at last caught up with me and now the Drs think I have steroid induced osteoporosis, still to be confirmed. Anything can now break my bones…great……
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| Philly and Me by the pool |
Needing a pick me up my friend Philly and I decided to take the kids on a much needed break so we packed up Boo and her twins Caitlin and Kenny (Jake refused stating “ I’m too old duh”) and headed off to a caravan park 30 miles down the coast. We were blessed with Mediterranean weather, brilliantly behaved children and the same sense of humor which all made for a fabulous time away. It was a memory moment that lasted 5 days. Boo reverted back to a child. She has had to be so grown up the past 18 months. It was delightful watching her splash around in the pool. Others will never truly understand what she or Jake have been through or how Mark and I have had to make hard decisions where they are concerned. She danced, swam and laughed for the entire time. We now have a blonde bronzed Boo.
Jacob has become a worker and started a “summer job”. I think it has been a shock to his system but he had already learnt a lot, particularly about having to get up to go to work. We hear “I don’t like this” in the morning to which we reply “you’d better get used to it as you will be doing it for at least 50 years” …..he comes home smothered in motor oil and paint. He too is bronzed and looks older each time he re-enters the house after completing his hours. I am very proud of him. How he has overcome the things that have been thrown at him. Strange to think he was born with a condition when we look at him now. A brilliant creative kid who can do the most amazing impressions….
So we got back from our break last week to start the appointments all over again, I have not been allowed to work since the back break. The mini stroke didn’t help matters lol….but there were no lasting effects so all is good on that front.
These occurrences helped me reassess what was happening in my life. Things can change in a moment as destiny had kindly demonstrated and I wanted to have calm and clarity in my life. I no longer wanted to walk on egg shells to please others or appease people to keep the peace. I no longer wanted the baggage that was effecting me, So, I cut free. I can breathe J
I have made some decisions and one of them is to start driving again. I am so excited at the prospect of this and can’t wait until my car arrives so I can pretend to be a responsible adult. The other is to try and rediscover the old Sarah with her high heels and perfectly styled hair. The reduction in steroids has been difficult and often painful. Joint pain in the fingers and limbs can be frustrating. Tiredness can hit at the most inconvenient of times. I have perfected the look of interest when in fact I am fast asleep. One good thing is my toad like features are slowly diminishing and my cheek bones reappearing. Yay!!! Not there yet but on the road to a non swollen face.
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| out on the town with Philly and my brace...accessorising...it's how we roll.... |
I still swing between tears of pain and laughter, normally together at the same time but for the first time in 3 very long years I am turning the corner and grabbing my independence back…I appreciate all the help I have received and the times that I have been knocked back. All of it has shaped me into the person that I am now today.
As for the immediate future? More appointments, more treatment and plasma exchanges, more time with the children and Mark and most of all more “me time”.
I promise not leave it so long next time, hopefully the next couple of weeks will not be so full….what an earth will I post about ?
Until next time
Sarah x
